How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
