no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
