No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
