Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
