Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
