I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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