Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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