chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
