What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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