I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize