she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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