what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
