Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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