theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
