I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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