it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize