I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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