Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
please don't ironically join a cult
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