Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
