Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can text with my tongue
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
