That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
