I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
