Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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