no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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