singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
