About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
