You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
