Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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