I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
