I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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