Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
