Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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