Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
