if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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