u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
