its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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