I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
