So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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