you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
