That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
