The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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