Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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