Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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