how can u be prego again
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
