just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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