Who did Billy Mays play for?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
