I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize