Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
