You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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