Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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(847): View more from Illinois

no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

Fav 8 5141 1182
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(703): View more from Virginia

You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

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(209): View more from California

Show him your tits if he says no

(1-209): View more from California

They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(407): View more from Florida

You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!

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(641): View more from Iowa

I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.

(1-641): View more from Iowa

What did he say?

(641): View more from Iowa

He still asked if I want a home security system.

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