I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize