I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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