My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
