i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
