the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
