fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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